A Pleasant Outing on a Dreich Day: A Highland Bedtime Story in which MacFaff and Meep visit MacScramble and Mimble

MacFaff, the Mountain Goat peered out the window and sighed. It was ANOTHER cloudless day. Searing Sun shone on and on and on.

Yet ANOTHER cloudless day :-(

“Oh how I miss the claggy coolness of a Caledonian day,” he remarked to his beloved Quadruped partner, Meep. “Your pallid pores are turning rosy red from those radiant rays; we need a dreich day”.

MacFaff and Meep hailed from the Highlands. The Caledonian Highlands, that is. But they were visiting their mountain-y mates, MacScramble (also a Mountain Goat) and Mimble, the Draft Horse, in the hyper Highlands of the Great Snowy Mountains, land of soaring spires, luminous lochs, and magnificent meadows, arrayed under ceaseless cerulean skies.

What a group the four firm friends made! Meep the Quadruped was short and fierce. ”Let’s make a list and get organized!“ she loved to exclaim. MacFaff, who towered over her, was inclined to futz and fumble about which caused Meep to moan. “Stop your faffing, MacFaff!” The rangy frame of MacScramble, who was only a generation or two removed from Caledonia, was mostly seen only from the rear, as he scampered and scarpered skillfully up some precarious precipice, MacFaff following boldly (MacFaff loved to boldly follow where others had led before). Mimble the Draft Horse methodically plodded along as she always did, mumbling and grumbling, and huffing and puffing.

MacScramble on his way up a cliff, with MacFaff about to follow.

Mimble and Meep deploy their third and fourth legs, far below 

They had already experienced excellent and audacious adventures under Searing Sun.

They had gamboled through magnificent meadows bursting with blooms. “Pleasant”, said MacFaff.

MacScramble in a meadow

They had stared at stunning sunsets. "Pleasant", said MacFaff.

They had kayaked crystal clear lochs below soaring spires. “Pleasant”, said MacFaff.

They had roamed and rambled across the trackless terrain of a wonderful wilderness. “Very pleasant”, said MacFaff.

Under the monstrous Minarets, Meep had taken a polar plunge in a loch to swish away the sweat. The waters were only fractionally above freezing and she had thrashed furiously towards the stony shore, gasping and rasping. “Pleasant”, said MacFaff, but really, how could he know? He had only poked in a finger! Fortunately, Searing Sun soon had her snug once more.

Meep took a polar plunge in here!

On an extreme escarpment, MacFaff had climbed all the way to the tippy top on the pointy end of the cord, reversing roles with MacScramble. “Pleasant!” said MacFaff, looking chuffed with himself “I only faffed a little!”

While rambling and scrambling, Meep had taken a roly-poly of a rumbling tumble that set her down bottom-first forcefully on a sharp stone. Despite her name, there was nae meeping, nae mumbling. “Dinnae fash yerselves”, she reassured her concerned companions. She plodded on home underneath Searing Sun, only later discovering a colossal contusion on her rump. “I have a third buttock!” she exclaimed. “It’s like an alien planet!” she elaborated, placing herself with concerning caution on the squishy sofa. Mimble named it “Bertha”.

Meep soldiers on as the third buttock grows after her tumble

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And so it was that one Sunday morning, sunburned, scratched, and sore, MacFaff and Meep peered out the window once more to find…..a dreich day! The hills were claggy! The ground was soggy! The air was clammy! Searing Sun had slunk off to sulk somewhere behind Cumulus Cloud who was all puffed up and proud.

Cumulus Cloud beating up on Searing Sun.

“O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!” MacFaff chortled in his joy. “Let’s go adventuring!”

“Och aye, it’s like a bonnie Caledonean day! There’s a Claggy Crag to clamber up!” Meep enthused.

MacScramble and Mimble looked baffled and befuddled, perplexed and muddled.

“How about a soak in the super spa hot pools instead?” they suggested. But Meep and MacFaff were already gathering their waterproofs. Or rather MacFaff was rooting about trying to find his while Meep reprimanded, “Stop faffing, MacFaff!”

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like in the hills, perhaps we can enjoy this dreich day”, said MacFaff. And off they set on their swift and speedy steed, Bolt, to Bishop and beyond. In the hills, it was gloomy and glum, damp and dour. Mimble shivered for she was Draft Horse with lizard tendencies, and added a layer or two or three or four. Being stout souls, those of Caledonian extraction eschewed these extras, as they considered conditions first-class.

The Claggy Crag (Hurd Peak) is on the left above the misty and murky loch (South Lake)

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like a little bit down the trippy track, perhaps the rain will ease or cease”, said Meep. And so off they set through the misty and murky forest, the rain pitter pattering on their waterproofs, and their hooves splishy splashing through muddy puddles. After a time, a bedraggled figure approached from the opposite direction and warned them gloomily of the doom of treacherous torrents to be crossed on slippy logs. “Oh, what in this world shall we do?” moaned Mimble.

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like at those treacherous torrents, perhaps the bridges are better than bad”, said MacScramble. And so off they set once more, Meep and Mimble deploying their third and fourth legs in preparation. They found the logs were indeed slippy, but MacScramble and MacFaff teetered over the treacherous torrent in their twinkle toes Mountain Goat sort of way and aided the others across. As they continued to climb towards the Claggy Crag, a cutting chill set in. Meep had not expected such Caledonian conditions and her mitts were turning blue. But a glimmer of light above suggested that Searing Sun was beating back Cumulus Cloud.

The Mountain Goats casually cross the slippy logs

Mimble deploys the extra legs to teeter across.

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like at Lovely Loch beneath the Claggy Crag, perhaps it will be lighter and brighter there”, said Mimble. And so off they set, their spirits lightening with the brightening cloud, their hands warming and their clothes drying. Meep and Mimble climbed ceaselessly, inspired by their favorite goggle box cycling show. “We are the Peloton”, declared Meep. “The Peloton NEVER stops” agreed Mimble. At Lovely Loch, they were beset by a mob of malicious mosquitoes and slapped and flapped furiously. But their efforts were futile against those fiendish flying formations.

Masses of mozzies not visible in this shot of Lovely Loch (Treasure Lake), with Claggy Crag (Hurd peak) behind.

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like up on those slopey slabs, perhaps we can escape this myriad of malevolent mozzies”, said MacFaff. And so off they set, MacScramble unleashed in his habitual habitat. He loped and leaped, leading the others up and up and up the white granite, followed closely by MacFaff, with Meep and Mimble stumbling and bumbling at the rear. At the top of the slabs, they paused and puffed in the thin air, the mobs of mozzies much diminished. The Claggy Crag reared up fearfully above, a jagged dragon’s back of a ridge guarded by a chaotic tumble of talus topped by a rocky gully festooned with naughty limber pines. They were all getting particularly peckish but the battle between Cumulus Cloud and Searing Sun continued with an uncertain outcome.

Meep on the slopey slabs below Claggy Crag. The tumble of talus and rocky gully are above, below the dragon's back jaggy ridge.

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like at the top of the tumbling talus, perhaps we can enjoy our palatable pieces there”, said Meep. And so off they set, the Mountain Goats dancing and prancing from rock to rock while Meep and Mimble stepped stolidly and sensibly, slowly and surely ascending. At the top of the talus, they pulled their pieces, made from Mimble’s fresh baked bread, from their backpacks, and chewed the chow, gulping with gusto. “Pleasant”, said MacFaff. Above, in Round 10 of the celestial scrimmage, it appeared that Searing Sun might be ahead of Cumulus Cloud on points.

Meep and Mimble stepping stolidly and sensibly up the tumbling talus,

Enjoying our palatable pieces (sandwiches)

“Let’s just go and see what it’s like at the jaggy dragon’s back of a ridge, perhaps we can make it all the way to the tippy top” said MacScramble. And so off they set up the rocky gully, in their usual order – can you guess what that was? In places, those naughty limber pines guarded the way but Meep roared at them, thundering her third leg emphatically upon the earth: “I am Meep the Merciless! I shall pass!” And she did. But then the naughty limber pines retaliated with a swift swipe to her sore behind. “Ooh, aah, my throbbing third buttock!” meeped Meep. Those playful pines then plucked Mimble’s third leg and nailed her over the noggin with it. “Ouch!” mimbled Mimble.

Meep the Merciless parting the naughty limber pines

Finally, they reached the jaggy dragon’s back of a ridge. “What a bonnie view!” exclaimed Meep “Aye, very pleasant”, agreed MacFaff. Indeed, their wriggly route up was laid out below them. Far below lay the Lovely Loch, sparkling like treasure.  On the other side of the jaggy dragon’s back ridge, they could see Chocolate Mountain. Porcupine Ridge and Stegosaurus Ridge linked a series of Pointy Peaks behind them. They could even see Bolt far below. It was a magnificent and magical moment and the four firm friends felt a fantastic freedom. But Cumulus Cloud was threatening to cause a frightening furor. He had swept away Searing Sun (who was cowering in a corner like a bad boy with a hot bottom) and was grumbling and rumbling darkly. Not even a Stern Look from Mimble quelled his threatened temper tantrum.

Lovely Loch below Stegosaurus and Porcupine ridges.

Four firm friends on the ridge in front of Chocolate Mountain. Cumulus Cloud is darkly grumbling.

“Let’s just go!” the four firm friends uttered in unison. And off they set down Claggy Crag, through the naughty limber pines in the rocky gully, down the tumbling talus, over the slopey slabs, through the myriad of malevolent mozzies, around Lovely Loch, over the treacherous torrents on the slippy logs, down the trippy track, and through the muddy puddles, laughing and joking despite lagging legs and tired tootsies. Searing Sun staged an eleventh hour comeback and beamed warmly down on the quartet as they reached Bolt at last, as was only fitting for a Highland adventure of the Great Snowy Mountain variety. Mimble even removed a layer.

Descending with Searing Sun gaining the upper hand

“A pleasant outing on a dreich day”, declared MacFaff, over the obligatory post-adventure libations. And the four firm friends all raised their glasses in absolute agreement.